It's not really common knowledge, but as a teenager I contracted a chronic illness which stopped me from comprehending the obligations of full time employment. It's been an on-and-off battle since then and tragically, after a recent period of remission, I've suffered another attack and won't be in the office until 6th February.
While I'm recovering, you can contact Lindsay or Lou, both of whom have managed to avoid this devilish affliction.
I'm out of the office until Friday 1st February 2013
I've suffered a minor injury while playing a game of the 'hunt the peanut'.
It's nothing serious, but I'll be out of the office until nature's taken it's course.
If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact Lou or Lindsay.
It's nothing serious, but I'll be out of the office until nature's taken it's course.
If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact Lou or Lindsay.
I'm out of the office until Wednesday 23rd January 2013
I've struck oil!!!!
Rig number 5 blew her top last night and it's been raining black gold ever since.
Me and the boys are going to be capping off the well later on today, before getting down to the serious business of making a heck of a load of money.
Naturally all this heavy physical labour is pretty time-consuming and that paperwork isn't going to do itself, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 23rd January.
If you need any help while I'm away, you can call on Lindsay or Lou.
When I get back you may notice that I'll be smoking a huge cigar, wearing a ten-gallon hat and looking pretty pleased with myself - get used to it, that's how I roll from now on.
Rig number 5 blew her top last night and it's been raining black gold ever since.
Me and the boys are going to be capping off the well later on today, before getting down to the serious business of making a heck of a load of money.
Naturally all this heavy physical labour is pretty time-consuming and that paperwork isn't going to do itself, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 23rd January.
If you need any help while I'm away, you can call on Lindsay or Lou.
When I get back you may notice that I'll be smoking a huge cigar, wearing a ten-gallon hat and looking pretty pleased with myself - get used to it, that's how I roll from now on.
I'm out the office until Wednesday 16th January 2013
As you will no doubt have realised by now, I am not of this earth.
53 years ago I was sent to study your kind and I must now leave to
deliver my initial findings. Consequently I'll be out of the office
until Wednesday 16th January at which time I will return to continue my observations.
If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact the Earth natives, Lindsay and Lou.
You'll be glad to hear that we mean you no harm, although we may consider selectively culling those of you who continue to wear very low slung trousers and designer underwear.
If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact the Earth natives, Lindsay and Lou.
You'll be glad to hear that we mean you no harm, although we may consider selectively culling those of you who continue to wear very low slung trousers and designer underwear.
I'm out of the office until 11th January 2013
Where there is suffering, I will bring comfort.
Where there is hunger, I shall bring sustenance.
Where there is fear, I will bring courage.
Where there is darkness, I will bring light.
Where there is work, however, I will be out of the office until Friday 11th January.
Fortunately, where there us absence, there will always be Lindsay and Lou. You have but to contact them.
(Please note that where there is cake, they will bring tea).
Where there is hunger, I shall bring sustenance.
Where there is fear, I will bring courage.
Where there is darkness, I will bring light.
Where there is work, however, I will be out of the office until Friday 11th January.
Fortunately, where there us absence, there will always be Lindsay and Lou. You have but to contact them.
(Please note that where there is cake, they will bring tea).
I'm out of the office until Monday 7th January 2013
I have just founded a new religious movement based on the lyrics to Baz Luhrmann's seminal 1999 hit, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" and need some time to get it off the ground, so I'll be out of the office until 7th January.
I
understand that I'm up against some pretty tough competition, what with
it being Chritmas and all, but if you are in need of a new spiritual
direction, or if you need to get in touch with me, I'll be on the ususal number, my child.
I'm out of the office until Monday 24th December 2012
During a failed homage to Houdini, I have trapped myself in a mahogany sideboard. It's still my intention to free myself without the aid of the emergency services, but you should be aware that I will be out of the office until I can escape.
If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay.
If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 20th December 2012
A lot of people have been asking me about how to be out of the office, so I agreed to post up this quick guide.
You're going to need the following items:
1. An office
2. A place to go to (not the office)
Simply start by being in the office, then just leave and go to the place that isn't the office. Once you have left the office, you could try telling people that you're no longer there, by leaving an out of office reply.
Here's one I prepared earlier:
"I am out if the office until 20th December 2012, if you need anything while I'm away, please contact Lindsay or Lou."
What could be easier.
You're going to need the following items:
1. An office
2. A place to go to (not the office)
Simply start by being in the office, then just leave and go to the place that isn't the office. Once you have left the office, you could try telling people that you're no longer there, by leaving an out of office reply.
Here's one I prepared earlier:
"I am out if the office until 20th December 2012, if you need anything while I'm away, please contact Lindsay or Lou."
What could be easier.
I'm out of the office until Monday 17th December 1012
I've been involved in a fight with a girl.
She beat me pretty badly and so I won't be back in the office until the embarrassment has subsided.
If you need any help in the meantime, contact Lindsay or Lou.
For the record, if push came to shove I'm pretty sure I could take them, but this whole thing's really shaken my confidence, and I'll probably just leave it.
She beat me pretty badly and so I won't be back in the office until the embarrassment has subsided.
If you need any help in the meantime, contact Lindsay or Lou.
For the record, if push came to shove I'm pretty sure I could take them, but this whole thing's really shaken my confidence, and I'll probably just leave it.
I'm out of the office until Monday 10th December 2012
I'm being modified and won't be in the office until 10th December.
If you need any help in the meantime you can contact Lindsay or Lou.
On the upside I should be extra awesome when I get back (not least because of the new cup holders).
If you need any help in the meantime you can contact Lindsay or Lou.
On the upside I should be extra awesome when I get back (not least because of the new cup holders).
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