There's a very low probability that I'll be in the office before Monday 7th February. It's so unlikely, that you'd be wise to assume I'm not there.
If you need anything while I'm sure to be away, you should almost certainly contact Jo, who is definitely excellent.
After attending a ten step course on avoiding responsibility (in which we were encouraged to leave after the first four steps), I'll be out of the office until next Monday.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Jo.
Following an increase in admin, I've sustained a lot of paper cuts and I'm avoiding all potentially lemon juice based activities - including work.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Jo.
I'm picking a different theme at work each week to spice things up a bit. This week's theme is not being here.
Contact Jo if you need any help while I'm away.
I’ve recently been attending a short course on writing messages providing information for people who want to get in touch with me in my absence.
It wasn’t very good, so contact Jo if you need any help while I'm away.
My parents warned me about people who sneak up behind you while you work and steal you away from your desk for a few days.
Like a foolish child, I ignored them and now I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 20th October.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Jo.
What's a nice person like you doing looking for a person who isn't here like me?
If you need any more catchy out-of-office-themed pickup lines, either wait till I return on 12th October, or contact Jo, who will probably tell you not to encourage me.
