I'm out of the office until Friday 11th May 2018

I'm attending a course to learn more about efficiently managing my absence from work, so I'll be out the office until Friday 11th May.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie or Kristin.

I'm out of the office until Monday 30th April 2018

People ask me "How do you keep your hair looking so great?"
It's simple, I just leave the office until Monday 30th April and my hair just naturally takes on that beautiful salon shine and volume.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Kristin or Rosie - because you're worth it.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 7th March

If you're contacting me to ask for something and I come across a little distant, it's because I've gone somewhere far away.

Should you still need help with whatever it is, get in touch with Rosie, who will appear much closer by comparison.

I'm out of the office until Monday 26th February 2018

My current absence can be explained by a combination of two things:
a) Mistaking the local boxing club for the venue of our quarterly drinks evening.
b) Asking if I can have a large punch.

I'm told I'll be ready to leave hospital and return to work on 26th Feb.

If you need anything while I'm healing, you can contact Rosie.

I'm out of the office until Monday 12th February 2018

My wife suggested I get out more, so I agreed to join one of the local clubs.
As luck would have it, it turned out to be a club for people who like being out of the office until Monday 12th February, which is great, because that's when I'm out of the office until.

Rosie and Lou are members of a club for people who can help you while I'm away. In fact I think they run it.

I'm out of the office until Monday 5th February 2018

If you don't really need this out of office reply, please consider donating it to someone who really needs it.

In the meantime you can contact Rosie or Lou if you require help while I'm away.

I'm out of the office until Monday 22nd January 2018

I am out of the office on a secret mission involving chocolate and television and will return on Monday 22nd January.

If you need anything while I'm away, please contact Lou or Rosie.

I'm out of the office until Monday 15th January 2018

As I am out of the office until 15th January, you should follow the instructions below:

Press button A if you need help from Rosie or Lou while I'm away from the office.
Press button B if you cannot see button A.
If neither buttons A or B are visible, press button C and a technician will be with you shortly.

Don't press button D.

I'm out of the office until Friday 5th January 2018

I went to the doctor's yesterday. He sat me down and told me that it looks like I'll have to be at work all week.
After I'd gotten over the shock, I asked him if there was anything that I could do and he gave me some pills that he said would at least keep me off work until Friday.

He also gave me some other pills that'll get Rosie to help out in case you need anything while I'm away.
Obviously you'll have to figure out how to get her to take them, but then you'll be sorted.

I'm out of the office until Tuesday 2nd January 2017

The cleaners have buffed everything in the office to such a high shine that I've slipped right off my chair, through the door, down the road and out of the country.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie or Lou - although you may have to wait a bit for them to answer, the phones got cleaned as well and now they're too slippery to pick up.