I'm out of the office until Monday 7th January 2013

I have just founded a new religious movement based on the lyrics to Baz Luhrmann's seminal 1999 hit, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" and need some time to get it off the ground, so I'll be out of the office until 7th January.

I understand that I'm up against some pretty tough competition, what with it being Chritmas and all, but if you are in need of a new spiritual direction, or if you need to get in touch with me, I'll be on the ususal number, my child.

I'm out of the office until Monday 24th December 2012

During a failed homage to Houdini, I have trapped myself in a mahogany sideboard. It's still my intention to free myself without the aid of the emergency services, but you should be aware that I will be out of the office until I can escape.

If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 20th December 2012

A lot of people have been asking me about how to be out of the office, so I agreed to post up this quick guide.

You're going to need the following items:
1. An office
2. A place to go to (not the office)

Simply start by being in the office, then just leave and go to the place that isn't the office. Once you have left the office, you could try telling people that you're no longer there, by leaving an out of office reply.

Here's one I prepared earlier:
"I am out if the office until 20th December 2012, if you need anything while I'm away, please contact Lindsay or Lou."

What could be easier.

I'm out of the office until Monday 17th December 1012

I've been involved in a fight with a girl.
She beat me pretty badly and so I won't be back in the office until the embarrassment has subsided.

If you need any help in the meantime, contact Lindsay or Lou.

For the record, if push came to shove I'm pretty sure I could take them, but this whole thing's really shaken my confidence, and I'll probably just leave it.

I'm out of the office until Monday 10th December 2012

I'm being modified and won't be in the office until 10th December.

If you need any help in the meantime you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

On the upside I should be extra awesome when I get back (not least because of the new cup holders).