I'm out of the office until Monday 5th February 2018

If you don't really need this out of office reply, please consider donating it to someone who really needs it.

In the meantime you can contact Rosie or Lou if you require help while I'm away.

I'm out of the office until Monday 22nd January 2018

I am out of the office on a secret mission involving chocolate and television and will return on Monday 22nd January.

If you need anything while I'm away, please contact Lou or Rosie.

I'm out of the office until Monday 15th January 2018

As I am out of the office until 15th January, you should follow the instructions below:

Press button A if you need help from Rosie or Lou while I'm away from the office.
Press button B if you cannot see button A.
If neither buttons A or B are visible, press button C and a technician will be with you shortly.

Don't press button D.

I'm out of the office until Friday 5th January 2018

I went to the doctor's yesterday. He sat me down and told me that it looks like I'll have to be at work all week.
After I'd gotten over the shock, I asked him if there was anything that I could do and he gave me some pills that he said would at least keep me off work until Friday.

He also gave me some other pills that'll get Rosie to help out in case you need anything while I'm away.
Obviously you'll have to figure out how to get her to take them, but then you'll be sorted.