I'm out of the office until Tuesday 28th February 2017

I've always been an ardent supporter of "Remain", but the results of the recent referendum have made it very clear that the majority support "Leave".
Fortunately, most of those who voted also ticked the "Return on 28th February" box, so I'll only be away from the office for about a week.

If you need anything while I'm obeying the will of the people, you can contact Lou, Rosie or Lucy.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 15th February 2017

Because of my youthful appearance, I've been mistaken for a child and sent back to primary school.
The positives to be taken from this are that all the lessons are really easy to understand and I'm pretty much top of the class.
The downside is that I'll be out of the office until they find out my real age, or until I get to secondary school and finish my GCSEs, whichever comes first.

If you need anything while I'm away, you should contact Lou, Rosie or Lucy.

I'm out of the office until Monday 13th February 2017

I was trying to get to work yesterday, but when I got there the office had become really, really tiny, with tiny doors so small only an ant could get in.
I phoned up the guys and told them what had happened.
They explained that the office was still the normal size, but that I was very, very far away, making the building appear relatively small.
It now turns out that the office is so far away that it'll take me some considerable time to reach it.

If you need anything before I get in, call on Lou, Rosie or Lucy.

It seems so obvious now I think about it.