I'm out of the office until Monday 4th July 2016

Don't bother me now, we've lost two engines, the rudder's not responding and I'm fighting the stick just to keep us in the air.
Look, if you need help, go talk to Lou and Rosie, or just make yourself useful and get back there to see if you can help the injured.

If I can't keep this baby flying, making it back to the office on Monday will be the least of my problems.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 22nd June 2016

I'm being displayed at the V&A in an exhibition about contemporary absence from work, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 22nd June.

If you need anything while I'm away, you should call on Rosie or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Friday 17th June 2016

We went to see a magician last night.

He picked me out of the audience and got me to stand in this empty box, after which he magicked me away and I disappeared.

What we didn't realise at the time was that it was real magic, so I'll be unable to come to the office until he plucks me from behind the ear of an unsuspecting punter in a ground-breaking street performance that will have everyone talking for years.

If you need any help while I'm away, say the magic words and Rosie or Lou will appear from nowhere and sort everything out.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 8th June 2016

You may already be aware, but today marks the 700th anniversary of the first recorded out of office reply.

On this day in 1316, Friar Andrew of Segni left the Baja Monastery in Hungary on a pilgrimage to Italy, leaving behind a note which read:
"Blessed bretheren, I have left the holy walls of our home to attend the needy and to carry the good Word to all I meet. Should you have need of assistance, seek council from Brother Giovani Vinitti."

To mark the day, I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 8th June.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Sister Rosie or Sister Lou.