I'm out of the office until Friday 1st May 2015

I've been participating in a secret trial to develop a shrinking ray.
Obviously it's supposed to make me smaller, but instead, it's just shrunk the time I spend at work, so I'll be out of the office until Friday 1st May.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie.
They've been undergoing tests to make them helpful and it's working really well.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 16th April 2015

This week, as part of a new themed approach to being away from work, I'll be out of the office in the style of René Descartes, whom many credit as being the father of modern Western philosophy.

If you need anything while I'm off garnering praise for my development of theories relating to analytical geometry, you can contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 9th April 2015

I've fallen down the back of the sofa with all the bits of popcorn and pen lids, so I'll be out of the office until someone finds me while pulling out all the cushions looking for the TV remote.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lou, Lindsay or Rosie.

Oh, hey! There's a boiled sweet! Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.