I'm out of the office until Thursday 1st May 2014

I recently volunteered to take part in some abstract clinical studies which are being run to test how people are affected by temporary absence from work.
In this round of tests I've agreed to be out of the office until Thursday 1st May.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

So far I'm not experiencing any ill effects from the treatment. In fact, I have to say I'm feeling pretty awesome.

I'm out of the office until Monday 28th April 2014

I've landed on Community Chest.
The card reads, "Leave the office until Monday 28th April."

As you probably know, the rules say that you have to contact Lindsay or Lou while I'm away

- unless I roll a double.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 24th April 2014

I've recently become really, really evil, so I'll be out of the office for a few days, twisting the moral fabric of society until it snaps.

It's not the first time and it tends to pass quite quickly, but if you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

As you'd expect, I'm thinking terrible thoughts about you right now.

I'm out of the office until Tuesday 22nd April 2014

The Police called yesterday, to tell us that a close relative has been reported missing.
Naturally we're all devastated. I think it's fair to say that I've been hit particularly hard, as I'm the one who's disappeared.
I hope you'll be able to understand my absence from work, both because we'll all need time to get over this sudden shock and also because my whereabouts is unknown.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay and Lou.

We can only pray that I turn up soon - we just want some kind of closure.

I'm out of the ofice until Thursday 10th April 2014

While sealing a package to be sent off to a client, I tripped an fell in.
Before I had time to get out, DHL picked it up and delivered it to somewhere just outside Harrogate, so I'll be out of the office until I've been signed for and returned.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

There was originally some concern that there'd be some duty to be paid on the contents of the package on delivery, which might further delay me. But as it turns out, I have no inherent value, so it's no longer an issue.