I'm out of the office until Monday 3rd June 2013

Last night we went to a stage show featuring a hypnotist, who hypnotised me into believing that I had just been fired. Just as he was going to snap me out of it, the fire alarm went off and we all had to evacuate the venue.
Consequently, I still don't think I have a job, so I'll be out of the office until I've come to my senses.

If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

On a related note, the guy also convinced me that I am His Holiness the Pope, so I'll be keeping myself busy waving from a balcony and kissing tarmac at the airport.

I'm out of the office until Tuesday 28th May 2013

We're playing this game in the office where we each take turns to remove something from the room and the others have to guess what's missing.
It's my turn and I've decided to remove myself, so I'll be out of the office until they've worked it out.

If you need any help while I'm hiding, you can contact Lindsay or Lou, but don't give them any clues.

Frankly, I'm a little concerned that they're taking so long to notice.

I'm out of the office until Monday 20th May 2013

Buddha teaches us that four things cannot be long hidden:
The sun
The moon
The truth
My absence from the office until Monday 20th May.

If you need further enlightenment, please be at one with Lindsay and Lou.

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.