I'm out of the office until Tuesday 2nd May 2017

You know me, I'm a hard worker. But I just looked in the cupboard and we're out of elbow grease, so there's no point coming in until we get another tin.

If you need anything urgently while I'm away, just call me on my mobile.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but it's quite nice not to have slippery elbows for a bit.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 20th April 2017

I run a small art gallery in my spare time and was visited yesterday by a famous collector looking for new talent.
He was very taken with a piece by a particularly promising young artist and asked me to talk him through it in detail.

Unfortunately the artist in question specialises in what we call "Extreme panoramas" and in this case he's used a canvas measuring around forty five miles long.
Safe to say, I'm going to be here for quite some time.

If you need anything while I'm otherwise engaged, you can contact Rosie or Lou.
However, if you'd like to join us, just pop along to the gallery - as far as I'm concerned there's definitely an "Economies of scale" vibe to these guided viewings.

I'm out of the office until Tuesday 18th April 2017

I found a mystery button under my desk and decided to press it. Turns out it was the release for the ejector seat.

Things happened pretty fast after that and I've been sent home while a) repairs to the ceiling are carried out and b) results from the pending enquiry come in.

if you need anything while I'm off, you can contact Rosie or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Friday 7th April 2017

We've been "Hot desking" at work recently, but, predictably, I overdid it and mine caught on fire.

If you need anything while I'm being treated for minor burns and waiting for new office furniture you can call on Rosie, Lou or Lindsay.