I'm out of the office until Friday 3rd July 2015

I've commissioned a distinguished portrait artist to paint me not being at work.

We've discussed the look and feel of the finished picture and agreed that it would be best if I was out of the office until Friday 3rd July. That way, he'll have enough time to really capture the essence of my empty chair and desk.

Lou, Lindsay and Rosie will be pictured in the background, helping anyone who needs me while I'm away.

I'm out of the office until Monday 29th June 2015

Found this in the classified ads of this week's newspaper and thought of you:

"Fourty something, out-of-the-office type, seeks work colleague to email him for disappointing lack of contact. Must be well-mannered and willing to contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie for help. No time wasters."

I think you should go for it.

I'm out of the office until Friday 19th June 2015

The King gathered us all together and asked,
"Are you ready to serve your King, to follow him, even if it means your death?"
And we all cried,
"YES! We are ready!"
And the King said,
"Then let us gather together here on the morrow and we will set forth. TOGETHER!!!!" And everyone cheered.

Except for me.

I told him that, unfortunately, I would be away until Friday 19th June, but that if he needed any help, he could contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie.

It's fair to say that he wasn't best pleased.