I'm out of the office until Monday 2nd March 2015

I'm in a Mexican standoff with a drugs baron and an FBI agent, so I'll either be:

a) Out of the office until everyone slowly lowers their guns

or:

b) Out of the office forever


If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Friday 20th February 2015

I'm no longer governed by the conventional laws of physics and so, although technically I won't be anywhere, I definitely won't be in the office until Friday.

If you need anything while I'm wherever I am or am not, you should contact Lindsay or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 18th February 2015

There's been a load of talk at work recently about how we're all starting to look and behave the same, so in order to distinguish myself from the others, I've decided to leave the office.
That way, if you see anyone in the office, you can be sure that it's definitely not me.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay and Lou, or it might be Lou and Lindsay - I can never tell them apart.

I'm out of the office until Friday 13th February 2015

I've found the solution to all of my problems, but unfortunately it involves leaving the office for a few days.

If you need anything while I'm away, I'm afraid you're out of luck - unless you have the same problems as me, in which case I may well have the answer.

Alternatively you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 5th February 2015

I'm having my hair cut by a blind man with miniature scissors, so I'll be out of the office until Thursday 5th February.

If you need anything while I'm in the chair, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

Good thing I didn't go for highlights, or I'd be stuck here forever.