I've been exposed by the tabloid press and so, on the advice of my lawyers, I'm going to ground until Wednesday 1st October to let it blow over.
Frankly I'm devastated that the press can just walk into somebody's life like this and tear it apart.
On the up side, I've been granted an injunction to stop the story before it gets too big and my lawyers have acted so quickly that even I don't know what any of this is about.
Naturally if you need anything while I'm hiding out you can contact Jenna or Rosie.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 25th Septemebr 2014
In order to carry out a series of nefarious and underhanded plans, I have become a master of disguise.
While this is a boon in the world of espionage, I cannot be recognised by anyone at work and consequently security will not grant me access to the property, so I'll be out of the office until I'm able remove this enormous rubber nose and fake breasts.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie.
However, if you have to see me urgently, come to the butchers on Farrow Lane and ask for Mrs. Le Clerq.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie.
However, if you have to see me urgently, come to the butchers on Farrow Lane and ask for Mrs. Le Clerq.
I'mout of the office until Monday 22nd September 2014
I've successfully completed the first 50% of an advanced engineering project, which allows me to be in two places at once. With the programme now at the landmark half way point, I'm finally able to make myself appear in one specific place - sadly not the office.
While I'm off working on a way to overcome what we are terming the "workplace limitation", you can contact Jenna or Rosie for assitance.
Now that the excitement's wearing off, I can't help feeling that the second half of the project will present some slightly tougher challenges.
While I'm off working on a way to overcome what we are terming the "workplace limitation", you can contact Jenna or Rosie for assitance.
Now that the excitement's wearing off, I can't help feeling that the second half of the project will present some slightly tougher challenges.
I'm out of the ofice until Monday 15th September 2014
I've been trapped by a Kalahari Bushman, so I'll be out of the office until I can manage to secure my release.
If you need help with anything urgent while I'm away, you can call me on my mobile.
Normally I wouldn't be caught so easily, but I really wasn't expecting a Kalahari Bushman.
I mean, you don't, do you?
If you need help with anything urgent while I'm away, you can call me on my mobile.
Normally I wouldn't be caught so easily, but I really wasn't expecting a Kalahari Bushman.
I mean, you don't, do you?
I'm out of the office until Wednesday 10th September 2014
I'm backing a huge articulated lorry along a really long, winding, narrow dirt road on the side of a mountain, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 10th September.
If you really need something urgently, you can call me on my mobile, but do try to phone after I've got past the bit with the rickety rope bridge, to avoid distracting me unduly.
If you really need something urgently, you can call me on my mobile, but do try to phone after I've got past the bit with the rickety rope bridge, to avoid distracting me unduly.
I'm out of the office until Friday 5th September 2014
"I am out of control, and at times hard to handle"
- Marilyn Monroe
"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself"
- Emily Dickinson
"I am out of breath in this fond chase. The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace"
- Helena, Midsummer Night's Dream.
"I am out of the office until 5th September "
- Lenny.
You can contact Jenna if you need anything while I'm away, but don't quote me on that.
- Marilyn Monroe
"I am out with lanterns, looking for myself"
- Emily Dickinson
"I am out of breath in this fond chase. The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace"
- Helena, Midsummer Night's Dream.
"I am out of the office until 5th September "
- Lenny.
You can contact Jenna if you need anything while I'm away, but don't quote me on that.
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