I'm out of the office until Thursday 2nd April 2015

The machine that keeps me at work is undergoing some routine maintenance, so I'll be out of the office until it's fixed.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lou or Rosie - they use a more reliable model, so they tend to be in.

I'm out of the office until Friday 27th March 2015

I've been reading a bedtime story to my children which I wrote myself.
It's the tale of a working man who leaves his office until Friday 27th March.

The plot also revolves around a group of people looking for the guy and in the end they all go and see Lindsay and Lou, who help them out.

As you've probably guessed, I've drawn heavily on my own experiences.

I'm out of the office until Friday 20th March 2015

Sometimes I like to be spoiled a little, so I've decided not to come back to the office until someone buys me a pony.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

It has to be a really nice pony, mind you, not just a normal one.

I'm out of the office until Friday 13th March 2015

You're looking for me, but you can't find me - it's just like I'm a Ninja warrior.
Ninja warriors can't be found because of their Ninja skills.
But unlike a Ninja warrior, you can't find me because you're looking in the office and I'm not there.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Sensei Lindsay or Sensei Lou.

I'm out of the office until Tuesday 10th March 2015

I've been left out on a park bench by a careless child, so I won't be in the office until someone picks me up from lost property.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 5th March 2015

I've been whisked off my feet by a handsome prince and taken far, far away.
I know it sounds like just like a fairytale, but it does mean that I'll be out of the office until he realises I'm not the princess he's looking for.

If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

My wife is going to be livid.