I'm out of the office until Monday 3rd June 2013

Last night we went to a stage show featuring a hypnotist, who hypnotised me into believing that I had just been fired. Just as he was going to snap me out of it, the fire alarm went off and we all had to evacuate the venue.
Consequently, I still don't think I have a job, so I'll be out of the office until I've come to my senses.

If you need any help in the meantime, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.

On a related note, the guy also convinced me that I am His Holiness the Pope, so I'll be keeping myself busy waving from a balcony and kissing tarmac at the airport.

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