I've struck oil!!!!
Rig number 5 blew her top last night and it's been raining black gold ever since.
Me and the boys are going to be capping off the well later on today, before getting down to the serious business of making a heck of a load of money.
Naturally all this heavy physical labour is pretty time-consuming and that paperwork isn't going to do itself, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 23rd January.
If you need any help while I'm away, you can call on Lindsay or Lou.
When I get back you may notice that I'll be smoking a huge cigar, wearing a ten-gallon hat and looking pretty pleased with myself - get used to it, that's how I roll from now on.