It's not really common knowledge, but as a teenager I contracted a chronic illness which stopped me from comprehending the obligations of full time employment. It's been an on-and-off battle since then and tragically, after a recent period of remission, I've suffered another attack and won't be in the office until 6th February.
While I'm recovering, you can contact Lindsay or Lou, both of whom have managed to avoid this devilish affliction.
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