Don't bother me now, we've lost two engines, the rudder's not responding and I'm fighting the stick just to keep us in the air.
Look, if you need help, go talk to Lou and Rosie, or just make yourself useful and get back there to see if you can help the injured.
If I can't keep this baby flying, making it back to the office on Monday will be the least of my problems.
I'm out of the office until Wednesday 22nd June 2016
I'm being displayed at the V&A in an exhibition about contemporary absence from work, so I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 22nd June.
If you need anything while I'm away, you should call on Rosie or Lou.
If you need anything while I'm away, you should call on Rosie or Lou.
I'm out of the office until Friday 17th June 2016
We went to see a magician last night.
He picked me out of the audience and got me to stand in this empty box, after which he magicked me away and I disappeared.
What we didn't realise at the time was that it was real magic, so I'll be unable to come to the office until he plucks me from behind the ear of an unsuspecting punter in a ground-breaking street performance that will have everyone talking for years.
If you need any help while I'm away, say the magic words and Rosie or Lou will appear from nowhere and sort everything out.
He picked me out of the audience and got me to stand in this empty box, after which he magicked me away and I disappeared.
What we didn't realise at the time was that it was real magic, so I'll be unable to come to the office until he plucks me from behind the ear of an unsuspecting punter in a ground-breaking street performance that will have everyone talking for years.
If you need any help while I'm away, say the magic words and Rosie or Lou will appear from nowhere and sort everything out.
I'm out of the office until Wednesday 8th June 2016
You may already be aware, but today marks the 700th anniversary of the first recorded out of office reply.
On this day in 1316, Friar Andrew of Segni left the Baja Monastery in Hungary on a pilgrimage to Italy, leaving behind a note which read:
"Blessed bretheren, I have left the holy walls of our home to attend the needy and to carry the good Word to all I meet. Should you have need of assistance, seek council from Brother Giovani Vinitti."
To mark the day, I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 8th June.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Sister Rosie or Sister Lou.
On this day in 1316, Friar Andrew of Segni left the Baja Monastery in Hungary on a pilgrimage to Italy, leaving behind a note which read:
"Blessed bretheren, I have left the holy walls of our home to attend the needy and to carry the good Word to all I meet. Should you have need of assistance, seek council from Brother Giovani Vinitti."
To mark the day, I'll be out of the office until Wednesday 8th June.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Sister Rosie or Sister Lou.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 2nd June 2016
I've been locked down after a leak, so don't bother trying to contact me until the decon crew have flushed the system and run a full diagnostic.
Contact Rosie, Lou or Lindsay if you need anything until I pass standard level 2 checks.
Contact Rosie, Lou or Lindsay if you need anything until I pass standard level 2 checks.
I'm out of the office until Friday 27th May 2016
I'm harvesting strands of absence from a field of time.
On finding a seed of enquiry, call on Rosie, Lou or Lindsay.
Perhaps they will plant it in the fertile soil of their knowledge, from which springs forth the flowers of enlightenment.
Either way, I'm not in.
On finding a seed of enquiry, call on Rosie, Lou or Lindsay.
Perhaps they will plant it in the fertile soil of their knowledge, from which springs forth the flowers of enlightenment.
Either way, I'm not in.
I'm out of the office until Wednesday 18th May 2016
Some science thing's happened that's left me weightless and drifting away from the office.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie or Lindsay, although I'm not too sure they fully understand the seriousness of the situation.
I say "seriousness", but what I obviously mean is "gravity".
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Rosie or Lindsay, although I'm not too sure they fully understand the seriousness of the situation.
I say "seriousness", but what I obviously mean is "gravity".
I'm out of the office until Friday 13th May 2016
In last night's pub quiz tiebreaker, the question was,
"Who is out of the office until Friday 13th May 2016?"
I told them it was me - which was the right answer.
First prize was two nights in a hotel somewhere quite far away, so I'll be out of the office until Friday 13th May.
If you need anything while I'm gone, you have to answer the following question:
"What can Rosie and Lindsay help you with?"
Send your answers to Rosie and Lindsay.
"Who is out of the office until Friday 13th May 2016?"
I told them it was me - which was the right answer.
First prize was two nights in a hotel somewhere quite far away, so I'll be out of the office until Friday 13th May.
If you need anything while I'm gone, you have to answer the following question:
"What can Rosie and Lindsay help you with?"
Send your answers to Rosie and Lindsay.
I'm out of the office until Friday 29th April 2016
I'm up here in the rarified air and earthly things, like turning up for work, are of no consequence to me. So I'll be out of the office until a sense of reality seeps back into my life.
Lou, Rosie and Lucy are around to help out while I'm away.
Or not.
It's just another thing that doesn't really register with me right now.
Lou, Rosie and Lucy are around to help out while I'm away.
Or not.
It's just another thing that doesn't really register with me right now.
I'm out of the office until Friday 22nd April 2016
"It's a sure thing", they said.
"Can't miss", they said, "you'll definitely be in the office".
So, got myself down the bookies and stuck a monkey on the nose at 10 to 1.
Might as well have flushed it down the khazee - turns out I'm not back in until Friday.
Never mind, here's a hot tip: contact Lou, Rosie or Lucy and they'll help you out.
Trust me.
"Can't miss", they said, "you'll definitely be in the office".
So, got myself down the bookies and stuck a monkey on the nose at 10 to 1.
Might as well have flushed it down the khazee - turns out I'm not back in until Friday.
Never mind, here's a hot tip: contact Lou, Rosie or Lucy and they'll help you out.
Trust me.
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