I can't go into any major details here, but after receiving some advice from a "Mate", I've decided to build an enormous boat, predominantly designed to house pairs of animals, but with just enough room for my family as well.
As a result I'll be out of the office for a few days, so that I can get the whole thing finished while the weather's still nice.
If you need any help while I'm away, you can contact Lou and Lindsay.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to say that it's been really nice knowing you.
I'm out of the office until Monday 25th November 2013
It's an unfortunate fact of life that there are those among us who are unable to reliably vacate their office.
To address this pressing issue and as part of my big corporate responsibility push, I've just rolled out a new service which should help those who are most in need.
Every week, I'll be spending at least one day out of the office on behalf of one of these unlucky individuals.
This week, it's Mrs G. Brooks of Crawley, who will be out of the office until Monday 25th November.
If you need any help while she's away, you can contact Lou and Lindsay.
Enjoy, Mrs Brooks.
To address this pressing issue and as part of my big corporate responsibility push, I've just rolled out a new service which should help those who are most in need.
Every week, I'll be spending at least one day out of the office on behalf of one of these unlucky individuals.
This week, it's Mrs G. Brooks of Crawley, who will be out of the office until Monday 25th November.
If you need any help while she's away, you can contact Lou and Lindsay.
Enjoy, Mrs Brooks.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 21st November 2013
As the result of an enormous mistake in my travel itinerary, I've not only gone to the wrong place, but also the wrong time. Leaving Waterloo on what I thought would be the 13.30 to Gatwick, I accidentally took the wrong train and ended up in pre-revolutionary France, somewhere just outside Montpelier.
Consequently, I won't be able to return to the office until the invention of the steam locomotive and the subsequent departure of the 15:45 from Lyon.
If you need any help in the meantime, please contact Lou and Lindsay.
C'est la guerre, mes amis.
Consequently, I won't be able to return to the office until the invention of the steam locomotive and the subsequent departure of the 15:45 from Lyon.
If you need any help in the meantime, please contact Lou and Lindsay.
C'est la guerre, mes amis.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 4th November 2013
Spot of trouble today.
Smithers and Dentington-Smythe caught me by the rangdanglers and gave me a troweling just after tiffin.
Needless to say it gave me an awful fright and made me miss punting for which Mr Mumpton gave me ten thousand words on "The quiet dignity of the river".
He also gave me detentions for the rest of the week, so it looks like I'll be out of the office until Thursday 14th November.
Luckily Fletch and DS have offered to cover for me while I'm away. Capital fellows.
Needless to say it gave me an awful fright and made me miss punting for which Mr Mumpton gave me ten thousand words on "The quiet dignity of the river".
He also gave me detentions for the rest of the week, so it looks like I'll be out of the office until Thursday 14th November.
Luckily Fletch and DS have offered to cover for me while I'm away. Capital fellows.
I'm out of the office until Monday 11th November 2013
I have always maintained that an enterprising approach to risk taking can yield great results, whereas there will always be naysayers who would claim that my brief sojourn into the radical new sport of chainsaw skydiving was always destined to end badly.
Either way, the fact remains that, on the advice of my doctor, I will be unable to return to the office until Monday 11th November.
If you need any help in the meantime, please contact Lindsay or Lou.
Either way, the fact remains that, on the advice of my doctor, I will be unable to return to the office until Monday 11th November.
If you need any help in the meantime, please contact Lindsay or Lou.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 31st October 2013
I used to be in the office all the time, but then I discovered the three step program for being out of the office.
Here's how it works:
In step one we enter into a state where we visualise the office and connect with the surroundings we associate with being there.
In step two, we look to the future and find our "point of transience", the place we will go when we are no longer in the office.
In step three, we leave the office and don't return until Thursday 31st October.
For more advanced users or those who are quick learners, there is the option for Lou or Lindsay to help others while you are away. I did it and I feel great.
Here's how it works:
In step one we enter into a state where we visualise the office and connect with the surroundings we associate with being there.
In step two, we look to the future and find our "point of transience", the place we will go when we are no longer in the office.
In step three, we leave the office and don't return until Thursday 31st October.
For more advanced users or those who are quick learners, there is the option for Lou or Lindsay to help others while you are away. I did it and I feel great.
I'm out of the office until Monday 28th October 2013
I've only just been told that I'm crazy like a fox, so it's obviously a good idea for me to stay clear of the office until everything calms the heck down.
If you need anything in the meantime, you should contact Lou or Lindsay, each of whom is sassy like a mink (but to a degree that is acceptable for office work).
If you need anything in the meantime, you should contact Lou or Lindsay, each of whom is sassy like a mink (but to a degree that is acceptable for office work).
I'm out of the office until Thursday 10th October 2013
I've accidentally spilled an entire a bottle of cleaning fluid over myself. On the label it says "Designed to remove large, unwanted stains from office furniture - use sparingly".
Unfortunately it seems that such was the power and the amount of liquid spilled, it has actually removed ME, so I'll be away until the scientists have figured out what the hell is going on.
If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lou or Lindsay.
Frankly, I don't know whether to be impressed or insulted.
Unfortunately it seems that such was the power and the amount of liquid spilled, it has actually removed ME, so I'll be away until the scientists have figured out what the hell is going on.
If you need anything in the meantime, you can contact Lou or Lindsay.
Frankly, I don't know whether to be impressed or insulted.
I'm out of the office until Thursday 26th October 2013
Hi, I'm out of the office until Thursday 26th September.
But don't just take my word for it, see what other people have been saying:
But don't just take my word for it, see what other people have been saying:
- "I thought he'd be in the office, but I was wrong - he wasn't."
- "One day he was here and the next he was gone. Luckily Lou and Lindsay were around to pick up the pieces of the mess he left behind."
- "He owes me money, but when I came to get it, he was conveniently absent, so I took his chair."
- "OMFG! His office is totally empty!"
I'm out of the office until Thursday 19th September 2013
Due to an administrative error I've been accidentally traded as a commodity and shipped abroad after being purchased by a gentleman from Saudi Arabia.
Although the problem has been flagged up by the relevant officials, international trade regulations stipulate that I have to be kept in a secure customs warehouse in Dubai until the requisite paperwork has been completed, after which time I will be able to return to the office.
If you need anything in the meantime please contact Lou or Lindsay.
Alternatively you could fill out a B23.1/592 (but you probably knew that already).
Although the problem has been flagged up by the relevant officials, international trade regulations stipulate that I have to be kept in a secure customs warehouse in Dubai until the requisite paperwork has been completed, after which time I will be able to return to the office.
If you need anything in the meantime please contact Lou or Lindsay.
Alternatively you could fill out a B23.1/592 (but you probably knew that already).
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