As the result of an enormous mistake in my travel itinerary, I've not only gone to the wrong place, but also the wrong time. Leaving Waterloo on what I thought would be the 13.30 to Gatwick, I accidentally took the wrong train and ended up in pre-revolutionary France, somewhere just outside Montpelier.
Consequently, I won't be able to return to the office until the invention of the steam locomotive and the subsequent departure of the 15:45 from Lyon.
If you need any help in the meantime, please contact Lou and Lindsay.
C'est la guerre, mes amis.