I'm out of the office until Monday 19th September 2016

The people found me last night, aimlessly wondering the streets and so, naturally, they called the authorities.
Then the van turned up, then they shoved me into the back and drove off.

They put me in a cage in the corner and I'm not too sure what's going to happen now, but I'm definitely not going to make it into work, so call Rosie, Lou or Lindsay if you need anything.

If you do speak to the guys in the office, make sure and tell them to get me out of here. They'll need to turn up with proof of address and a record of my most recent vaccinations.

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