I don't actually work here.
Just like everyone else in my office, I'm just an actor employed to add ambiance to the vacant office buildings on the campus.
Our contracts run for a year and get renegotiated every January and it'll come as no great surprise that there's been some problems with the paperwork AGAIN!
So it looks I'll be out of the office until my agent can iron everything out.
If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Lou.
As you've probably guessed, those are just their stage names.