The tests are back in and because of a rare genetic abnormality (from my mother's side), it seems that I'm slowly turning into tasty cakes.
It doesn't affect how I work, but the problem is that all the people in the office keep sneaking up and nibbling bits off me.
Without treatment, the condition will only worsen, so I'm taking some time off to convalesce.
Equally, if I stay at work, I'll be preyed upon by my colleagues until there's nothing left.
If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Rosie, Lou or Lindsay.
No, Lindsay! Leave my current buns alone!