I have invented a time machine and have left the current temporal stream. I should reappear in what you perceive as your future on Thursday 19th July.
In the meantime you can contact Lindsay or Louise, although, I've taken the liberty to find out what you want by contacting your future self and have dealt with it already, along with the next two months' issues. Don't worry about thanking me - we've covered that off two weeks hence.
Chris, if you get this message, avoid the Chicken Dansak in Town next Friday. Let's just say it'll help you avoid an embarrassing trouser incident in town.