I'm out of the office until Thursday 1st October 2015

We're playing a game of "Musical offices", which is just like musical chairs, but with offices instead of chairs.

Every day we all come to work, they start the music and when it stops, everyone runs to the nearest office and locks the door. It's pretty intense stuff and the games usually last around a week, depending on how many people are playing.

I got down to the last four this time round, but now I'm stuck in the corridor until Friday 2nd October.

Lindsay Lou and Rosie are still playing, so you can drop them a line if you need any help.

I'm out of the office until Monday 28th September 2015

I think everyone probably understands the butterfly effect - a small shift in one thing affects a massive change in something seemingly unrelated.

Bear that in mind, and maybe it'll be easier to understand why unseasonably heavy rainfall in Panama means that I'll be out of the office until Monday.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lindsay, Lou, or Rosie, but be careful you don't start a chain of events that dooms us all.

I'm out of the office until Friday 25th September 2015

I always travel to the office on the back of a giant Bengal tiger.

Unfortunately, G√ľnther (that's the tiger) started freaking out on Monday evening and no one can get near him.
So until he calms down, I'm kind of of stuck here at home.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lindsay, Lou, or Rosie.

In the meantime, apologies - I can't help thinking this could have all been so easily avoided.

I'm out of the office until Thursday 17th September 2015

I'm under siege.
They're attacking both gates - I'm being hit from all sides.

I've got enough supplies to last until at least February, but I'm expecting reinforcements around Thursday, which should allow me to turn the tables and return to the office.

If you need anything while I'm away you can contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie.

Of course there's always the chance that they might break through, in which case we're prepared to fight to the last man - although seeing as I'm the only one here, it should be over pretty fast.

I'm out of the office until Wednesday 9th September 2015

This is my out of office reply.
Do come in and have a look around, won't you?
As you'll see it's a relatively sumptuous four paragraph affair with a lavish variety of carefully selected words and a fetching black sans serif type set on a pristine white background.
Very de rigeur.

Anyway, I'm just going to pop out for a few days and you can contact Lindsay, Lou or Rosie if you need anything.

Now, where did I put their contact details? I think they're just under the penultimate sentence ... aah yes:

admin@outofofficereplies.com

I'm out of the office until Friday 5th September 2015

I'm doing a job swap with a colleague this week, but it turns out that they're out of the office until Friday 5th September - so I'll be taking on the mantle of their absence until then.

If you need anything while I'm away, you can contact Lindsay or Rosie.

I'm not too sure this is helping to expand my skill base as quickly as was intended.